WWE Summerslam!

While I make it a habit to watch WWE’s monthly PPV endeavors, this one holds a special place in my heart. Why is that, you ask? Well, this more or less marked the one year anniversary of my trek across Florida, and moving to Jacksonville! One year ago on the 16th (two days after the PPV), I packed up some stuff, moved in with my friend Jacob, and the very day I moved in, I went to our good friend Ashley Clark (aka Animebelle)’s house to watch my first group-PPV in a long, long. It was so fun, that we’ve done it just about twice a month for the past year! But enough of my silly reminiscing. Let’s get to the action!

Match 1: The Miz, Alberto Del Rio, and R Truth vs Kofi Kingston, John Morrison, and Rey Mysterio.
R Truth is one of the greatest things happening in WWE right now. Well, his matches aren’t anything spectacular, but on the mic he is a riot! That being said, this was your standard “put multiple people into a match together to give them screen time”. Plus, Rey was hurt, so he needed screen time plus a bit of protection. All in all it was a good match, but nothing really stood out. The Faces won in the end, which I accurately predicted! 1/1

Match 2: Mark Henry vs Sheamus.
IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING….LOBSTER HEAD! Ok, with that out of the way, they seem to be turning Sheamus face, which I’m ok with. He makes a good heel, but he’s good on the mic and always seems to have a good match. But Smackdown needs some people to go after the world title, and I guess a Big Scary Monster Henry is the best thing they have at the moment. I’d have liked to see Sheamus back up his words, but with Henry having taken out Big Show, Kane, and Kozlov recently, having him lose so quickly would’ve hurt. Now we can get a fun program between these two. Winner: Mark Henry, which nobody predicted. 1/2

Match 3: Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix – Diva’s Championship.
I really don’t think anybody expected Kelly Kelly to walk out of here with the Diva’s title. Then again, it’s the Diva’s title, not the Women’s Championship, so who gives a flying fark, eh? The match was a typical diva’s match, but then again, nobody went to the bathroom. Mostly because we all wanted to see Kelly Kelly get squashed. Don’t get me wrong, she’s very hot and I gotta give her props for being from Jacksonville…but come on, Beth Phoenix. Kelly won, which nobody predicted. 1/3.

Match 4: Wade Barret vs Daniel Bryan.
Pretty much the best thing Booker T has done since coming back to WWE to be a commentator is the coining of the phrases “Fav Five” and “D-Bri”. Which I shouted constantly throughout this match. Was it a good match? You bet. Did D-Bri put on a hell of a show, and Barret keep up wonderfully? Yeah. That being said, Barret somehow won, and the only two chicks were the ones ones to predict that. Lame. 1/4.

Match 5: Randy Orton vs Christian – World Heavyweight Championship.
Everyone was pulling for Christian in this match. Don’t get me wrong, I love Orton, and the RKO is one of my favorite non-submission finishers…but the way that they have treated Christian these last few months is abysmal. I won a bonus point for calling Edge coming out, and I’m glad I specified “even if he doesn’t interact in the match, Edge’ll be there”. the match was decent, and Orton got pretty busted up…but he really needs to shave and stop smiling. Smiley bearded Orton is CREEPY. AS. FARK. Orton won, which only 2 people predicted (I don’t remember, because I wasnt’ one of them). 2/5.

Match 6: CM Punk vs John Cena – WWE World Champsionship Unification.
This was the match that everyone was looking for. Literally across the board, everyone predicted CM Punk to retain. Maybe predicted isn’t the right word…hoped/prayed/dreamed? It was a very entertaining match, and Triple Haytch didn’t make it all about himself. In fact, the only thing he really did out of the ordinary was refuse to do a double count-out, which I applaud. CM Punk won in controversial fashion, as HHH didn’t see Cena’s foot on the rope, but it was a spectacular victory. And there was no overturn, no false finish, no “oops, I made a mistake, let’s restart the match”. Nope, two men entered, one man left, with the title. 3/6.

Match 7: Alberto Del Rio cashed in Money in the Bank vs CM Punk.
And this nobody saw coming. I knew SOMETHING had to happen, as we still had about 10 minutes left on the PPV. So when Kevin Nash came through the crowd and Jackknife Powerbombed CM Punk to oblivion, we knew something was up. Triple H was like “OMG WTF BBQ?” and then ADR’s music hit. We all knew what was about to happen, and while we were sad that CM Punk didn’t have the title anymore, we knew that the RAW the next day was going to be awesome, with some great storylines opening up.

At the end of the day, we had a 4-way tie, with me, Kerby, Ashley, and Kayla all bringing in 3 points. I think that was the least amount of points that has ever won one of our “PPV Prediction Grids”, but it is what it is! At least I didn’t lose, mwua ha ha.

All in all, it was a great PPV, and shows is a great alternative to the constant disappointments from last summer. I look forward to see what the next month brings.

-Zeke

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