Warning: Read This Before Playing Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood

There are a few things I need to warn you guys about before you settle in to play this awesome game.

1) Prepare to learn a foreign language (or two).
Assassin’s Creed has a wonderful feature called Subtitles. Normally these are distracting letters that appear on the bottom of the screen during cut scenes. However in this game, they turn into a wonderful educational tool! Now you can learn how the correct phrases to say when stabbing people, as well as some key phrases to use when you converse with those whom you don’t agree with. While the majority of these are Italian, so far some French phrases have arrived as well! Who knew killing people could be so educational!

2) Italian is a universal language that everyone years to speak.
While it teaches you some great phrases, the biggest thing is that you’ll discover that deep down, you really ARE Italian. At first you’ll just be reciting lines that you hear from the game, but soon you’ll realize that even in your everyday speech patterns you’ll start emulating your buddy and mine, Ezio. Everything sounds better in a horribly mimicked Italian accent.

3) Your name just got six words longer.
Ezio Auditore da Firenze. It just rolls off the tongue. And jealousy will sit in. Why doesn’t MY name take three paragraphs to state? Soon you will be Joe Wilson de Wisconson con la Madison. It’s only natural.

4) Death follows you.
You’ll never quite figure out why, but people will just drop like flies around you. You’ll look at someone, wave your wrist, and a hail of arrows will appear and strike down your foes…even those you didn’t even know you had a problem with! And people on rooftops? Hell, they’ll start falling left and right. They shouldn’t be up there, looking at you and going “Hey get down from there!”. Serves them right.

5) Daggers. Daggers daggers daggers.
One day you’ll wake up and have them strapped to your wrists, ankles, knees, elbows, tongue, eyelids, ears, hell even places where you normally would want all forms of sharp objects to avoid.

6) Templars.
They are everywhere. Yes, even there. RUN.

-Zeke

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